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The Sauna
When I first moved to Finland, I was given the following cultural advice: (1) Don’t walk on the ski tracks (2) Don’t fart in the sauna.
Perhaps this explains the popularity of the joke. A group of high-powered businessmen sat silently in a scorching sauna. Abruptly, the silence was broken by a ‘wheeze’ as one of the gentlemen farted. No-one said anything, no-one smiled, no-one laughed. The group continued just sitting there silently. After a few seconds the silence was again broken by the sound of a small ‘wheeze’ as a second businessmen farted. Once more there was no reaction from his colleagues who continued sitting silently. Finally, there was a loud ‘grunt’ as a third executive farted. In unison everyone turned to look at the culprit and asked, “är du svensk?”
But, how stereotypical is this joke? When a good friend of mine from England visited back in 2001, together with three Finnish male friends I decided to introduce him to the sauna. After the first round, he declared, “I am not going back in there, it is for gays.” At least he went in, albeit briefly. On a beautiful summer’s day in 2002 my mother refused to even try the sauna; stating, “…at my age it is bad for my health.” She did, however, spend several minutes swimming in the wonderful lake.
In 2006, the world renowned travel guide, Lonely Planet, published a Blue List of the best places in the world to visit. Featuring 618 places and things worth visiting and doing, Finland and its saunas only enjoyed a fleeting reference, among "the best places to get naked".
Now consider the story of Anthony Blear a happily married businessman travelling to Finland for the first time. He knew that the capital is Helsinki; the population was circa. 5 million; the language difficult; and that Finland had excellent lumber, pulp and paper; a well developed metal industry; high quality agricultural produce… and that they did not demand unreasonable prices. But, that was where his knowledge ended.
His hostess, a pretty lady named Tarja Kauppi, explained to him that Finland has 183,000 lakes (none of which is in Helsinki) and over 2 million saunas of which about 250,000 are in summer cottages. This deeply shocked Anthony. His knowledge of saunas was very limited, but one sauna for every 2.5 persons sounded excessive. He knew that since the 1950s a large number had opened in London’s Soho. He had heard rumour about such places which feature female masseuses, alcohol, ‘intimate massages’ and even full sex. How does a country of 5 million support over 2 million brothels? he wondered.
He timidly asked Tarja “do you have massages in Finnish saunas?” Tarja gave him a warm smile and answered. “Of course, we like to hit each other with birch twigs.”
Towards the end of the day, it was clear everybody was tired of the lengthy business negotiations. It was no longer certain that progress could be made. That was when Tarja suddenly made a proposal. “Let’s go to the sauna.” Anthony’s legs began to shake. “But, I am married.” His Finnish hosts laughed off Anthony’s protestations and the group headed to the company’s saunas, one for the men and one for the women. “A company without a good representation sauna of its own would get nowhere in Finland.” he was assured.
Hesitantly, Anthony followed the lead of the other men, stripped naked and followed them into the sauna. The thermometer on the wall read 98oC. Antony’s ears and nose were burning and he soon began sweating like a pig. Yet, somehow he was enjoying the experience. After four rounds in the sauna the women rejoined the men; salty sausages were served in the lounge, beer and schnapps were drunk and business negotiations concluded to everybody’s satisfaction.
Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on your point of view, this kind of sauna diplomacy is now on the decline. With an increasing number of women filling senior management roles it is impractical for them to physically share the same sauna as their male colleagues. Kirsi Seppalainen, a senior business executive explains: "In one of my previous jobs, I was the only woman attending management meetings, so I always had to find other things to do when the men were in the sauna. And then sometimes, I would hear that they had reached an agreement in my absence.”
Finally, I wonder if there is anything better than a sauna by a lake?
Mike Bangle is the owner of Talking English language consultancy and can be contacted at mike.bangle(at)phnet.fi
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